It's that time of year again. No, I'm not talking about the time of year to get your flu shot. I'm talking about the time of year to make your 2010 resolutions. And if you're like me, there will be 2010 of them.
At the top of the list, of course, is losing a few pounds. When I was in my teens, losing those pounds was as easy as wiggling my pinkie finger a few times to kick start my metabolism.
When I wiggle my pinkie finger now, the chub waves back.
For this reason, I've developed an exercise program for 2010. If you're looking to lose a few pounds, please feel free to target the following problem-areas with me:
The best workout for the jaw is to talk. A lot. However, if you're like me and you're already about to lose your job for talking too much, a good alternative is to chew on something crunchy. (I have already purchased potato chips for this purpose.)
When you work a desk-job, everything you eat migrates to your thighs.
Sit in your chair with your feet on your desk. Over time, gravity will pull your fat toward the floor and reshape your legs. This way, you will look skinny from the front.
Trying the whole ab-crunch thing can be time consuming and painful.
The solution: Maternity clothes. These can be purchased at any retail outlet. It doesn't matter if you are male or past child-bearing age. Maternity clothes will still fit you.
Finally, don't forget to take your flu shot this year. Or, you could skip it altogether. If you're like me, you might be one virus away from being your ideal weight.