My friend Cameron is attending the same online college that I am, and when we exchanged Christmas presents today I gave him a bag of his favorite candy, M&M's, with a twist! They came with a user manual (which I wrote at about 1:30 this morning) which I thought I would share with the rest of you. Feel free to use this, alter it to apply to someone else, and generally have fun with it. Merry Christmas!
User’s Manual for Magical College M&M’s:
Brown
Seriousness and Support: Too many late
nights? Feeling detached and unstable?
Chomp down on brown. Don’t eat too many, though, as you might risk
losing your sense of humor and all sophistication.
Blue
Intelligence and Inspiration: This is
the go-to M&M for those impossible assignments that make your eyes water
just to read them. Take it all in stride with a dose of blue and soar through
with straight A’s! Negative side-effects may include aloofness and a tendency
for your nose to turn up in the air.
Green
Balance and Restoration: When your
schedule is crazy and your priorities are off kilter, meditate on a little
green to bring it all back into alignment. Side-effects include stagnation,
boredom, and an unhealthy fascination with Al Gore.
Yellow
Optimism and Confidence: If you’re in a funk, there’s nothing
like a yellow M&M to get you up. But take care! An overdose of yellow can
cause emotional unbalance and suicidal tendencies.
Orange
Fun and Passion: If your essay leaves
you feeling drained and dispirited and you feel the will to live being sucked
out of your very bones, get some emergency orange as soon as possible. Be forewarned:
one too many can induce symptoms of wanton frivolity.
Red
Strength and Vitality: Are you losing your
edge? Pop a few red M&Ms and feel the warmth and energy surging through
your veins! Overdoses can lead to eye-strain and fanatic aggression toward
hamsters, so be careful.
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