My friend Cameron is attending the same online college that I am, and when we exchanged Christmas presents today I gave him a bag of his favorite candy, M&M's, with a twist! They came with a user manual (which I wrote at about 1:30 this morning) which I thought I would share with the rest of you. Feel free to use this, alter it to apply to someone else, and generally have fun with it. Merry Christmas!
User’s Manual for Magical College M&M’s:
Seriousness and Support: Too many late nights? Feeling detached and unstable? Chomp down on brown. Don’t eat too many, though, as you might risk losing your sense of humor and all sophistication.
Intelligence and Inspiration: This is the go-to M&M for those impossible assignments that make your eyes water just to read them. Take it all in stride with a dose of blue and soar through with straight A’s! Negative side-effects may include aloofness and a tendency for your nose to turn up in the air.
Balance and Restoration: When your schedule is crazy and your priorities are off kilter, meditate on a little green to bring it all back into alignment. Side-effects include stagnation, boredom, and an unhealthy fascination with Al Gore.
Optimism and Confidence: If you’re in a funk, there’s nothing like a yellow M&M to get you up. But take care! An overdose of yellow can cause emotional unbalance and suicidal tendencies.
Fun and Passion: If your essay leaves you feeling drained and dispirited and you feel the will to live being sucked out of your very bones, get some emergency orange as soon as possible. Be forewarned: one too many can induce symptoms of wanton frivolity.
Strength and Vitality: Are you losing your edge? Pop a few red M&Ms and feel the warmth and energy surging through your veins! Overdoses can lead to eye-strain and fanatic aggression toward hamsters, so be careful.