Exchanging Burdens

1. Plan my day
2. Put in new contacts
3. Exercise
4. Read books
5. Write Altogether Separate Post
6. Practice Piano
7. Write Granny
8. Call Brent
9. Work on college essay
10. Write for Picture Britain
11. Email Jonathan
12. Write Church newsletter
13. Journal
14. Type notes
15. Come up with ideas for guest posts
16. Go to work for eight hours

This is the kind of to-do list that's been weighing on my chest for the past few weeks, etching lines in my forehead, weighing my steps, tying me to my pillow, stiffening my muscles and eating at my bones. When Solomon said, "anxiety weighs down the heart," he wasn't kidding. I don't have enough time. There's so much to do. People are counting on me!

You probably know that I'm in the middle of reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp right now, and it's been challenging me to trust God on a wholly different level. I'm learning that I have to do more than trust Him with my salvation—I must trust Him with the smallest items on every day's to-do list. Do you sometimes make that error too? Will you trust the Lord with your immortal soul but not with your schoolwork or job interview or lunch? "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...." How easy that sounds, and yet so hard. 

Today I made a decision. I decided to exchange my 30-pound backpack—the burden I've made out of stress and worry and anxiety and trying-to-do-it-all-by-my-big-girl-self—for the burden that Jesus described as "light." I've exchanged my stress for His joy! I decided that I didn't want the stress any longer; the stress that I've cherished, the stress which buckled the knees of my mother and grandmother, the stress that brought me to faint-hearted whimpers as I climbed my way to the top, that stress is just a mask for control. "I want to do it. Hand me the wheel and let me take care of it." I've been planning my agenda and worrying about my responsibilities and thinking about all of the people who are depending on me—where has Jesus been through all this? Right beside me, holding out His own yoke, the one He's willing to share with me.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.                                                                                   

  -Matthew 11:28-29

My Father will not let me down, and He won't let you down either. Whenever I slip my head out from under Jesus' yoke in the future, I pray that He will take me back to today, to the breezy sundown among the trembling leaves and tender grass when I decided to exchange my ashes for beauty, the day I exchanged the ugly, sweat-stained stress for His joy and grace. 


When I think about what Jesus' burden must feel like, I imagine a CamelBak. A CamelBak, in case you've never seen one, is a backpack with a built-in water bottle which enables a hiker or biker to drink through a tube without having to rummage for her bottle. It's a burden, but it's a burden filled with life-giving water. "The law of the LORD is perfect, refreshing the soul."

Do you have a burden? Is it yours, or is it Jesus'?

Photo: Camelbak love, a photo by mahfrot on Flickr.