Songs in the Night

When you're trying to fall asleep, laying in the dark with your head on your soft pillow, you attempt to spin your mind into dreams. 

Solitude Reading, a photo by Robert Banh on Flickr.

But then inspiration hits.

A story idea, a recipe you want to try, the perfect Facebook status, a to-do item for tomorrow, a few lines of song, someone you need to contact, the inspiration for a photograph...it hits just as sleep comes to claim you.

And you have to write it down or else you'll forget it.

Isn't it interesting that sometimes our brightest insights come whenever we're doing something else?

Why Killing Cattle Doesn’t Work

Do you ever find yourself reaching an intense spiritual high one moment, only to crash and burn the next? Perhaps you get some wonderful inspiration from a time of prayer and meditation, you make all kinds of fresh resolutions, and then you’re faced with another human being. Then your true colors show when you hit the roof about a tiny problem, or you gripe or gossip, or you do exactly the opposite of what you’d just been intending to do.

Cow, a photo by Atli Harðarson on Flickr.

That’s the story of my life, unfortunately, and it’s coming clear during this time of fasting and prayer. Just as I think I’m doing something wonderfully holy (giving up snacks and dessert—yikes!), I mess everything up by some act of disobedience.

I suspect that I’m not the only one who experiences  this. In fact I know  I’m not the only one, just from looking at the ancient Israelites. You have probably heard the phrase “obedience is better than sacrifice,” but do you know where it comes from? Those are the words of Samuel, the prophet of the Lord, spoken to King Saul after a particularly nasty incident involving the Amalekites. God had commanded Saul to utterly destroy these people, along with their possessions and animals. Saul was more than willing to fight the Amalekites and went out in obedience to God’s command, but when it came to slaughtering all of those perfectly good cattle and sheep—he just couldn’t do it.

For Samuel it must have been like watching a train wreck in slow motion. He was incredibly upset at Saul’s act of outright disobedience, and finally cornered him. What was the king’s excuse? He said that the animals were meant as a sacrifice to the Lord. That sounds wonderful, right? Read Samuel’s response and listen for the frustration in his voice:

Why Am I Not Better?

Click the photo to view larger:

Photo edited from play, a photo by gagilas on Flickr.

Text edited from Heart to Heart with Holley, Why We Don't Have to Try So Hard

A Light in God's Places

In response to another post, Total Abandonment, I’ve received some wonderful answers and insights! I put the same post on another blog, The Britophile Diaries, and got answers over there as well, so I thought I’d share them for anyone who’s in the same pickle as I’ve been in!

Ana Mari reminded me that no one person can have all the answers, only God. She is a woman who became a missionary to Costa Rica a little over a year ago, sacrificing much but with no regrets! She could have had a life of leisure, but decided that that wasn’t what she wanted. God answered her prayers and gave her the desires of her heart. She said that if my desire is to go to Britain to study, then I can serve the Lord there the same as if I give it all up and go serve the unreached right away.  Psalm 37:4, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Don and Shelly responded to my comment,  "Is this what following Christ is like, or is this what fighting against Him is like?" They say it's a little of both. Sometimes we try so hard to follow the will of God that we miss it entirely.  I should just keep praying to seek His will. They gave a great example: perhaps Noah wanted at first to build a monument to God that would testify to many, but God told him to build an ark instead. Perhaps Britain is my ark, and while donating my money toward a cause could be a good thing, following God’s plan could be a great thing! They reiterated what I’ve heard before on this subject: I mustn’t be “guilted” into or out of anything. I especially liked this point, “Perhaps the test for you here is not as much about making the ultimate "correct" choice, but being able to wait upon Him to give you direction.” I should have patience; hard, but necessary!

Praying for an Answer

Not all questions can be answered by Google, originally uploaded by jaygooby.

I almost didn't write this post. It's a leap of faith in itself. I'm putting out there on the internet that I trust God enough to believe His promises. And it's harder than it sounds.

I've got a decision to make, and I'm tired of weighing pros and cons. I've asked advice, I've mulled it over until my head aches, I've gnawed my lips and done the research and hemmed and hawed. Now it's time to come to a conclusion of the matter. I want to make the best decision, and even though God may not "care" what I do, He is also the only one who knows which path would bring me the most happiness, opportunity, fulfillment, etc. I really want to make the best decision, so why not try asking the omniscient God of the universe? I think I have the right:

 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” 

Matthew 18:19-20

Anything they ask for? That's powerful. If Mom and Dad and I get together on this, apparently we should be able to get an answer. Here's another one:

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 

Psalm 37:4

I had a great conversation with an elderly neighbor who has been a man of God for decades. He shared some examples of times when he asked the Lord to answer a specific question (should we buy this house, etc.) and He answered loud and clear! Sometimes opportunities he couldn't have imagined popped up later and proved that he had indeed taken the right path.


He told me to get into a quiet place, ask my Father in Heaven a specific question (not, "What should I do?", more like "Yes or No to A and B?"), sit still and listen.

Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, LISTEN!