On the Finish Line

Here I am, almost done with college. I started writing this blog as a homeschool girl, trying to spread her wings, learning to live. Now that identity that I've claimed for so long, a girl schooled at home, is about to disappear forever as I submit the very last assignment of my very last college course.

Can you remember a milestone like this in your own life? Maybe when you felt like you were jumping off a cliff into nothing?

I love making plans and goals, dreaming about the future, imagining possibilities for the years to come. I expect to travel overseas and attend Bible school next spring, but beyond that it's nothing but a dense fog. Career, home, relationships, ministry...I feel as if I've got my whole life ahead of me, but I can't possibly see beyond the next few months.

But isn't that how it's supposed to be?

100 Reasons I Give Thanks

1. I have a merciful Savior who loves me, warts and all.
2. The leaves change color in the fall; they don’t have to, but they do.
3. My mother is a creative person who “gets” me on so many levels and who loves me to death.
4. My father is a humorous and loving man who provides well for our family and would do anything for us.
5. My little brother may be a twerp sometimes, but he’s my twerp and I know that he loves me…deep down.
6. I have a part-time job with my family that allows me to make a regular paycheck and have plenty of time to listen to books on my iPod.
7. I am incredibly blessed to have so much extended family living nearby; my grandparents are amazing.
8. Foggy mornings.
9. While I may not have many friendships, the ones I have are deep and full of meaning, purpose, beauty, and laughter.
10. I am in on the Goodwill Secret—and am not afraid to utilize my knowledge.
11.  I have the freedom to experiment, to explore, to create a future that’s perfectly suited to me.
12.  I have access to an awesome public library filled with thousands and thousands of books, DVDs, and audio CDs.
13.  My country grants me freedom of religion, and I need have no fear to worship.
14.  I am physically fit, capable of doing everything I want to do.
15.  There are Panini sandwiches and gallons of pesto in the world.
16.  I have been able to pursue a non-traditional education through homeschooling, CLEP and DSST tests, and online college.
17.  Despite the fact that my body does not like my fingers and frequently attempts to sever them, I have never been seriously injured.

Collegiate Adventures

A Clock - and a Remembrance of Love, a photo by Tony the Misfit on Flickr.
This clock is the symbol of my school, Thomas Edison State College

It's the time I've been working toward for years: I am officially a college student! It's probably something that every homeschool kid wonders about, "Will I be able to keep up? What will it be like working with strangers? Am I really ready for this?" It's the first time I've been responsible to a stranger for my grades, and having a strict schedule is something of a shock since I've been doing little else but taking CLEP and DSST tests for the past couple of years. Suddenly I have deadlines, grading rubrics, classmates, and reading assignments!

Thankfully, the shock is not too severe since I'm not attending a physical college; I'm taking my classes online. Does that sound like a cop out? I'm sure that it's not any easier than taking traditional college classes. I'm taking three courses, two of them upper-level, and since last Sunday I have read Heart of Darkness, researched photography, practiced my photography, studied postcolonialism, written numerous posts on multiple discussion forums, and read about three quarters of Pride and Prejudice as well as a study guide on that novel. 

So far I have been able to submit my assigned work on time or even early, but other areas of my life may suffer in consequence. My blogging, for example, may become less and less frequent. Some of my writing assignments are quite interesting, however, and perhaps I'll post them for your reading pleasure :)

I want to thank everyone who reads my blog, however infrequently. Your views and comments are certainly an encouragement and brighten my day!    

The Different Homeschool Girl

This extremely insightful and encouraging article was written by Chris Davis (www.chrisdavis.wordpress.com). If you're a homeschool girl like me, or you're a homeschooling parent, you probably want to read this, if only to know that you're not alone!

She lives in a small town in Tennessee, or in a subdivision in North Carolina, or on a ranch in Montana.

She may be 15 or she may be a college graduate. Either way, odds are not many boys have ever paid much attention to her. She may wonder if she will ever get married. She is lonely.

What’s her problem? The answer is (not so) simple: She is different.

She doesn’t particularly like being different. She may tell you she doesn’t care; but she does.

Behind her back, her peers say she is a snob. Her mom says the other girls are jealous. That doesn’t help much. So she tries to be friendly and kind but that doesn’t help much, either. She may be shunned by other girls and ignored by boys.

She is different and who wants to be different? Nobody likes others who are different and nobody likes being different, either.

I have met many homeschooled girls like her as I have traveled and spoken at conferences around the world. Each girl thinks she is the only one with these feelings. But, there are many, many just like her. If they ever found one another, there would be a huge group hug. And, yes, probably lots of tears.

THE H EFFECT

Who am I? I am 

• Introverted
• Detail-oriented
• Usually the quietest one at a party, talking only to people I know
• Easily drawn into a book, movie, or song
• A leader/dictator (depend on who you ask)
• Melodramatic/passionate
• Easily distracted when studying
• Hugely imaginative
• Earnest and conscientious to the nth degree
• The kind of person who loves doing things for people to make them happy

I started this blog as "The Different Homeschool Girl", not even sure what made me different. All I knew was that homeschooling was a part of me, it helped make me who I am. Homeschooling is still a huge part of me now; I wash it with my hair every other day, pluck it out with my eyebrows, and see the world through its eyes. For better or worse, homeschooling was not just a way to get an "education", it was (and still is, even through college) a way of life. 

If there are any parents reading this who homeschool, or are considering homeschooling, I want to be sure you know that this is a big decision. Homeschooling--with all of its advantages and hang-ups--will impact your child forever. Forever. It will be a huge part, maybe the biggest part, of their childhood (and people only have one of those). It's their history. It'll be in their hair and fingernails.  I'm not trying to scare anyone away--I would never trade my experiences for a public school, or probably even a private school, education. If you think that it's really not as big a deal as everyone thinks--that public, private, or homeschool, your child will somehow turn out the same in the end--think again.

It's the homeschooling effect. It gets everywhere. Take it seriously.

The Last First Day

It's the day after Labor Day. The day school officially starts. The day I begin my senior year of high school. It's the last first day. Yeah, Mom's sniffling, Dad's proud, Aaron's impressed. And me?

It's a feeling that is difficult to describe. The whole day seems to have a cloak of sanctity over it, something that hallows every moment and makes me want to stretch each second to its full capacity. This is a milestone. Never again will I make all my plans for the school year anew, never again will I sit down at a freshly organized desk with the promise of another academic-filled autumn ahead. Of course there will be college, but that's really something entirely different.

And I'm scared. Looking around me I can see so many people who seem to have it "all together." They have jobs, they've chosen college majors, they have plans and intend to go somewhere. Me? I'm stumped. After several trips to the library to check out career-planning books and taking more personality and aptitude tests than I'd like to admit, my future remains hazy.

I know why it's hazy, because I'm waiting on God. I'm not expecting 'brain surgeon' to be written in the sky, I'm just waiting for that peace that so many people talk about. I'm always hearing about individuals being guided by God into wise decisions, but I've never figured out how that works. My picture is beginning to coalesce in some ways. An English degree looks like my best bet, and even though I don't know what career might come after it, at least I would have some good skills to work with. I just haven't decided what the years ahead look like.

And really, I don't have to. After all, our days are in the Lord's hands. He's in control. If He wants to tell me something He knows how to get His point across. If I ask, seek, and knock, the door will open. Eventually. It's a slow process, but it will be worthwhile in the end. One of these days I suppose I will realize that I've seen all of the options and it's time to make a decision. Taking everything into account, weighing the pros and cons, I will find and answer. And He'll help me. Thank heavens.

But for now I'll just sit here and marvel at the last first day. That's really all we can do, isn't it? Just take it one day at a time. Do whatever our hands find to do, and do it with all our might. Step by step. Day by day. Milestone by milestone.

Adjö,

Abby Rogers