The Word for 2013

Perhaps you've heard of naming each year of your life with one word or phrase that encapsulates what you hope for, expect, and seek. For example, I christened last year "Adventure," and it lived up to it! I took an exciting trip to visit friends, went out of my comfort zone more than once, applied and was accepted to Capernwray Bible School, took the 40 Day Challenge to show solidarity with the poor, finished my college studies, and took a journey of gratitude by counting 1,000 gifts.

To this year I give a new name: Discovery.

40 Days of Solidarity With The Poor

I'm scared to death of posting this, but I'm going ahead anyway. For the next 40 days I will be on a journey. It’s a journey that I've needed to take for a long time, but I've been stubborn and afraid. Now is the time to put all of that behind me and trust in my loving Heavenly Father.

Image from picturesofpoverty.com

Quite a few incidents led me to this decision, which I need to talk about. I’ll start by saying that I’ve discovered what it’s like to ignore something so much that you know it’s something you should pay attention to. For months—years, perhaps—I’ve had a sneaking antagonism toward fasting. If I don’t eat I tend to get weak and headachy, so going without food is a very unpleasant experience, plus who wants to practice that kind of self-denial for any period of time? Nevertheless, I kept coming up against fasting in the Bible, in conversation, on the covers of books, in sermons, etc. The more I heard and saw it mentioned the more I gritted my teeth and reiterated all of my objections. It’s an outdated practice. It’s not healthy. I don’t need that. What it really came down to was that I didn’t have the necessary self-control.   

Surrendering Dreams

I don't usually respond to posts on other blogs, but this is an exception. One of the Altogether Separate community members recently sent me to a post by Miss Raquel over at the God's Daughter blog. She told the story of a fellow Christian blogger who died in May, leaving a striking legacy behind him.


In the last blog post that he published, Joshua Steven Eddy wrote about the need to surrender everything— even those beautiful dreams that we hold close to our hearts—to the Lord. His words were inspiring:

To surrender a precious dream is a fearful thing, but to pursue anything but the full measure of the glory of God’s love is a wasted life.

About two weeks after he wrote this, Joshua was killed in a hiking accident. 

It Is Unto the Lord

If my life is mediocre, it is unto the Lord.

If my life is extraordinary, it is unto the Lord

Warm, a photo by Casey David on Flickr.

Attitude Can Make All the Difference

I was recently contacted by a reader who is passionate about helping people, and she wanted to know if she could guest-write on my blog. Her name is Melanie Bowen and she is a contributor at the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance blog, helping people work through their serious illnesses. If anyone out there is struggling with their health, or just wants to get serious about starting a journal or making goals, read on! 

Within the beginning of the new year, many people are thinking toward the future and changes they want to make in the next twelve months.  For people with chronic and life-changing illness, looking to the future is an important part of staying as healthy as possible.  In a report published on e!Science News it was stated that researchers have discovered that patient attitude can make a difference in how well patients tolerate treatment and their overall recovery.  With this in mind, it is important to think about setting goals for the future and what you want to accomplish this year, not only in terms of your health, but also in terms of your overall life plan.

Benefits of Using a Journal or Blog

One of the best ways to begin to work out what you want for yourself is to start writing thoughts and ideas down.  Many psychotherapists recommend using a journal as a way of working through your thoughts and feelings. If you have ever kept a journal, you know that you can often read back through older entries and see a progression of thoughts as you work your way through your emotional process.

For individuals facing illness, whether it is a rare uncommon disease like a mesothelioma prognosis or an illness faced by many people, like asthma, dealing with the challenges of being ill can be difficult.  Writing in a journal allows you to write down your feelings, good or bad, and express those feelings outside of yourself. Treatments may be overwhelming, but through goal setting and writing, one can relieve stress, tension and emotions positively--leading to beneficial rewards and wellness.

A journal, whether it is a physical journal, an online journal such as LiveJournal or a blog, is also a place to write about your successes.  It is a place to write down the positive things that happen in your life and celebrate them.  This can be a wonderful resource for you to go back to on bad days, and remind yourself that it will get better and that you have things to look forward to.

Setting Goals

A journal or blog is also a good place to begin setting positive goals for yourself.  These may be specific goals related to your illness, or they may be overall life goals that are part of your “bucket list” of things you want to accomplish during your life.  You can write simple goals for yourself, such as “I will walk around the block every day.”  You can also integrate larger goals for yourself in your blog, such as “I will walk my daughter down the aisle on her wedding day.”

Goals are also an important part of maintaining a positive outlook on life.  They give you something to work toward and look forward to in the future.  And when you accomplish your goal, then you can cross it off the list and move on toward the next one.  If you have a continually evolving list of goals, then you will also have an on ongoing list of things to be looking forward to in the future.

No matter what your health prognosis is for the future, you can use blogging, writing in a journal and goal setting as a tool to help you maintain a positive and healthy attitude.  And maintaining a positive attitude will help you in life overall, not just with your health challenges.

The Yearboard

I've discovered from my reader survey (thanks to all who have filled it out so far!) that some of you guys and gals like personal stories and practical tips. Today I'm going to share with you something that I've been doing for several years, and every year I'm glad that I kept it up.

It's a yearboard, a fantastic way to express yourself and treasure the memories that you make throughout the year. It's unplanned, unstructured, and totally you. All you have to do is keep an eye out for little things that signify the events of your year, then pin them to your yearboard. In 2011 I collected a newspaper from England, a Choc-o-lait stick, the order of service from a friend's wedding, a green and yellow ribbon stick from our Superbowl victory celebration, and much more. Some months you might not have anything to pin up, at other times you might have dozens of items. At the end of the year you've got a wacky collage that is full of beautiful reminders of the past months.

The photo at the top is what my friend's yearboard looked like in 2010. You can see that she's the artistic type who painstakingly arranges all kinds of beautiful little snippets of her life. The picture to the right shows what my board looks like right now: completely blank except for a few cute thumb tacks. It's ready for 2012!

I have the tendency to just throw the bits and pieces onto my board, but I'm going to try to be more creative  and deliberate about it this year. Will you do this with me? All you need is a cork board or similar palette on which to pin paper, stickers, photos, pamphlets, buttons, napkins, CDs--whatever suits your fancy. Maybe you'll choose to tape them to a mirror, or sticky-tack them to cover your wall. At the end of the year I'll post what my board looks like and I'd love to see yours as well!

100 Reasons I Give Thanks

1. I have a merciful Savior who loves me, warts and all.
2. The leaves change color in the fall; they don’t have to, but they do.
3. My mother is a creative person who “gets” me on so many levels and who loves me to death.
4. My father is a humorous and loving man who provides well for our family and would do anything for us.
5. My little brother may be a twerp sometimes, but he’s my twerp and I know that he loves me…deep down.
6. I have a part-time job with my family that allows me to make a regular paycheck and have plenty of time to listen to books on my iPod.
7. I am incredibly blessed to have so much extended family living nearby; my grandparents are amazing.
8. Foggy mornings.
9. While I may not have many friendships, the ones I have are deep and full of meaning, purpose, beauty, and laughter.
10. I am in on the Goodwill Secret—and am not afraid to utilize my knowledge.
11.  I have the freedom to experiment, to explore, to create a future that’s perfectly suited to me.
12.  I have access to an awesome public library filled with thousands and thousands of books, DVDs, and audio CDs.
13.  My country grants me freedom of religion, and I need have no fear to worship.
14.  I am physically fit, capable of doing everything I want to do.
15.  There are Panini sandwiches and gallons of pesto in the world.
16.  I have been able to pursue a non-traditional education through homeschooling, CLEP and DSST tests, and online college.
17.  Despite the fact that my body does not like my fingers and frequently attempts to sever them, I have never been seriously injured.

My Bucket List In Progress

A couple months ago I wrote a post about bucket lists, where I wrote about lifelong goals, living to the fullest, the magic of thinking big, etc. Well, I have since created a list of my own. 

In case you're not familiar with Heritage Makers, it's an awesome online program that gives you the ability to create gorgeous custom storybooks, calendars, canvas prints, greeting cards, invitations, and even personalized playing cards (watch the video introduction here). I used HM to create a 14x11 poster of my bucket list (see the image above) to frame and hang on the wall above my bed as a reminder of my goals.

I call this my "Bucket List in Progress" because it is by no means a concrete thing. I've listed such goals as "write a textbook" and "own a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel" that I may not want to do someday for a myriad of reasons. But this is an outline, a rough sketch, something to aim for. I intend to alter it every few years to accommodate new goals and cross out the ones I've already accomplished, honing it to a razor-sharp edge of intention. 

So without further ado I present to you my current bucket list, with goals listed in no particular order: 

The old streets of Saltaire Village, a photo by Paul Stevenson on Flickr.

1.       Keep it simple

2.       Stay under 130 lbs.

3.       Deep relationships

4.       Create a self-study program for lifelong learning

5.       Find or create work that I love

6.       Live in England

7.       Make a friend in every European country

8.       Fall in love

9.       Discover my reasons for living

10.   Work for myself

11.   Get good at tennis

12.   Ride a horse “in the rough”

Les Miserables West End, a photo by mart wegman on Flickr.

13.   Learn another language

14.   See a show on Broadway/the West End

15.   Learn to dance

Grayson.., a photo by Bruce Tuten on Flickr.

16.   Scuba dive in a coral reef

17.   Sleep in a British castle

18.   Own a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

19.   Spread the Gospel

20.   Always tithe at least 10%

21.   Become influential in a godly ministry

It is Finished, a photo by abcdz2000 on Flickr.

22.   See the Northern Lights

23.   Visit

•        The British Museum

•        The Uffizi Gallery

•        The Smithsonian

•        The Louvre

24.   Live at least six months in a foreign country

25.   Tour New England

26.   Live in my “dream cottage” (a white cottage on a New England beach)

27.   Create a lovely garden

cutting loose, a photo by SqueakyMarmot on Flickr.

28.   Become a semi-professional photographer

29.   Become a connoisseur

30.   Read the complete works of Shakespeare

31.   Discover my strengths, weaknesses, passions, and gifts

32.   Never take on a lifestyle of debt

33.   Be a major influence in a child’s life

34.   Prison ministry

35.   Become an expert

36.   Win a prestigious blog award

37.   Write a textbook or study guide

Flags!, a photo by Paul Kehrer on Flickr.

38.   Be a New York Times bestselling author

39.   Go to a Green Bay Packer Game

40.   Make mistakes

41.   Learn to not take offense

And what is your personal opinion of these goals? Do you have a bucket list of your own? Are you willing to post it for the world to see?

Book Review: Bonhoeffer - Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy

" The first call which every Christian experiences is the call to abandon the attachments of this world.” 

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

My Alternate Title:

The Life of Dietrich Bonhoeffer: Abandoned to Christ

Do you have any idea who Dietrich Bonhoeffer was? He was a German theologian and pastor who lived from 1906-1945. He had something to do with a plot against the Nazis, and his death was decidedly from unnatural causes. That was about all I knew when I embarked upon reading his biography.

One of my new year goals was to read some biographies of famous Christians. As I searched the internet for titles I came across this one, found that our library had the unabridged audiobook, and checked it out. I knew so little of this man’s life and legacy, and now my view of the Christian walk has been changed forever.

Bonhoeffer was born into a decent, upper-class German family at the turn of the twentieth century. He had all the advantages of a good upbringing, fine education, and close friendships. His father was an areligious man, his mother a devoted Christian, and Dietrich decided to study theology in school. His doctoral thesis, Sanctorum Communio (which he wrote at age 21), concerned the theology of the church and delved into the complex subjects of authority, freedom, ritual, and eschatology. His career would only climb from there.

Becoming a pastor and mentor to many, Dietrich seemed poised for a life of academic and religious achievement—when the unthinkable happened. Hitler came to power and the church began to buckle. German Christians had just as much patriotic fervor as their neighbors and began backing the Fuhrer (a man gifted in speaking “Christian-ese” at appropriate times). Dietrich saw trouble and began gathering together men who were dedicated first of all to Christ, not Germany.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s life story is the story of the church in Germany during the period of the second world war. What he did was far from easy. He was patriotic too, and recently engaged to the love of his life, Maria von Wedemeyer. As things progressed, however, he found himself fighting against his country and going into more and more danger. “Christians” were caving in all around him, the rotten girders of their theology giving way under the pressure of escalating hostilities. Bonhoeffer wrote of his identification with Jeremiah, who “was upbraided as a disturber of the peace, an enemy of the people, just like all those, throughout the ages until the present day, who have been possessed and seized by God, for whom God had become too strong . . . how gladly would he have shouted peace and Heil with the rest.”

One Dress. 100 Days. For Orphans.

This girl is doing something radical. Let's help her.

If you've ever meant to support a good cause--head up a fundraiser, start a movement, whatever--and haven't taken action on it, this is your chance to help a girl who has taken the plunge and is doing something wonderful. 

Miss Elaini has suffered terribly, a passionate love for Jesus, and a big dream. Her goal is to raise $50,000 for orphans in India by wearing the same dress for 100 consecutive days, dressing it up with different accessories to make each day unique. She's put so much time, love, and effort into this project, and has been rewarded with over $20,800 in donations so far! But she's on day 96 now, and time is running out. 

So I'm reaching out to whatever audience I might have and asking that you do something--however small--to help further Elaini's dream. You only have four days left to throw a party, or just donate $10, $15, or $500. This is a worthwhile cause, something fun, creative, and beautiful that we can get behind!  

Her website is www.misselainious.com.

A Bucket List

No, I don't want to skydive. Sorry.

I must have heard the term “bucket list” at least four times in one day. It’s the title of an Oscar award winning movie, but more than that is a popular concept among positive-thinking, life-changing, entrepreneurship-type blogs and podcasts. It’s the idea that you should make up a list of a hundred, fifty, or even a dozen things that you want to do before you kick the proverbial bucket. Basically you ask yourself, “If I was lying on my deathbed right now, what would I regret not doing?”

Setting down your lifetime goals is such an important task, I think it would be hard to overstate it. Not that you have to map out exactly what you’ll be doing in February 2028, but not even setting a few major goals on paper is like going out on a grand adventure without so much as a compass. You might not need a road map complete with little symbols for every rest stop, but a list of “big rocks” gives you landmarks to help you keep track along the way, so that you don’t get to the end of a year—God forbid, the end of your life—and say, “Gosh, I didn’t really do much that was worthwhile and life-changing.”

For me this is a very big list. I’ve yet to put in down in writing, though; at the moment it’s just a haphazard, unformed idea of uninitiated opportunities and vague dreams. I have a feeling that my list (when I actually write it) will be less a series of concrete goals and more a collection of abstract experiences—serving God, building solid relationships, a lifestyle of continual learning, fulfilling work, helping others, creating something beautiful, etcetera. However, here are some solid goals I’ve come up with so far:

• Living in England (yes, spending 2 whole months at a Bible school would count, in my opinion)
• Making at least one friend in every country in Europe (yes, I know that there are 52)
• Publishing a book (fiction or nonfiction, and if through self-publishing I’d like to sell several thousand copies)
• Falling in love (if that’s God’s will)
• Discover my passion and reason for living (no biggie, right?)
• Work for myself (and do more than survive)

That’s it for now. What about you? Do you have some half-formed ideas, are you completely clueless, or are you ahead of the game and have your list all written out already? I challenge you bloggers to put some time, spiritual energy, and serious thought into your own bucket list, then post it on your own blog. Then you can link to your post in the comment section of this post. I’d love to see what some of you want to accomplish.

And remember, it’s never too late to start! In 1966 Lou Holtz was just an unemployed, penniless assistant-coach. He read the book The Magic of Thinking Big and then sat down to write out a list of 107 things he wanted to do before he died. Years later he has retired from a phenomenal football coaching career (2x coach of the year), and he's accomplished at least 85 of those goals so far.

I can’t wait to see what you come up with! 

P.S. Here are 1,000 ideas for your bucket list!

One giant leap for Matt! (one small step for mankind), a photo by Muddy Funkster on Flickr.

Winning IS Everything

"Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing."

                                                   -Henry Russell "Red" Sanders

I recently heard this quote lambasted. "Then what's the point of life?", people say, "To beat everybody else and make yourself important? How lame and inhuman." In my opinion, though, this quote doesn't have to be translated like that.

Sure, it was spoken in a competitive football context, where you winning means that someone else has to lose. But what's the point of football if it isn't to win? As the great Vince Lombardi of the Green Bay Packers once said, "If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?" Good point, Vince. 

So what is the point of your life? What do you want to win? If your goal is to smash the "competition" into the ground and put yourself on top then certainly that isn't honorable and you've probably got your priorities out of whack. But what if your aim is to be the greatest daughter that you can be? To help as many people as you can? To follow Christ in everything? In that case falling short isn't going to do you any favors. Coming in at second place isn't an option. 

Too often we get hung up on the idea that our win equals another person's loss. That's simply not true! George Bernard Shaw supposedly said, "If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange these apples then you and I will still each have one apple.  But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas." That's how life works in the real world. 

So don't be afraid to win! You being a success doesn't drag other people down. If you're not winning, who is?

Finish line, a photo by ukanda on Flickr.

Like Costly Perfume

Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But one of his disciples...objected, “Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year's wages."

Amy Carmichael was the daughter of an Irish pastor who left her home and family to spend 55 years--without furlough--ministering to orphans in India. She described missionary life as, "Simply a chance to die." Reach back farther into history and you'll come across women like Jeanne d'Arc who followed what she saw as God's calling, and ended her short life on a fiery stake. Both of these women--along with countless others--wasted their lives.

A Life With Wings

I'm asking for a show of hands: how many of you would love to live as mediocre a life as possible? 

OK, now that those people have been escorted out of the blogosphere, I'll turn to the rest of you normal ones. What is the point of living your one life if it's boring, pointless, or just plain stupid? Some people live like they're trying their best to be a cautionary tale!

Don't be that guy.

The motto behind living "a life with wings" is to fly as far as possible away from the mediocre and toward a God who has the whole world in his hands. What does a life like that look like? Here are a few pointers: 

1. It is driven by a passion. Floating aimlessly through life will not give you the best results (unless you're Forrest Gump).
2. It is goal oriented. Not fluffy dreams, not hopeless resolutions, just concrete goals. 
3. It is full of meaningful relationships. What is the point of a life lived alone? No man is an island.
4. Take baby steps and enjoy the journey. Every day can have something wonderful, you just have to find it.
5. Expect miracles. Don't just believe in them, look for them around every corner!
6. Live like you were dying. Think about it. What would you do? Now make that a priority. 
7. Abandon yourself to God. Hold nothing back and trust him completely. What do you have to lose?

I'm just starting my life "for real". I've always been a kid before, but things are going to get very serious very soon. I will have the chance to forge my own life story, my own destiny and future. I can put it into God's hands, I can follow his will, or I can go my own way. I can live for the moment, I can live for the past, I can live for the future. There are choices to be made--choices we all have to make every day of our lives. 

"Always live your life with your biography in mind." —Gareth van Meer

Would you be interested in reading your own biography if you died right now? If not, change something! Stop existing and start living. Start living a life with wings!

The Beating Of Wings, a photo by ammgramm on Flickr.

Live Like You Were Kind-of-Dying

Live like you'll die tomorrow, a photo by Mell P on Flickr. http://melissapetrie.com/zenphoto/

No doubt you've heard that Tim McGraw song about the man who learned his time on earth was short: 

I went skydiving,
I went rocky mountain climbing,
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'.
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'. 

It's an inspiring sentiment, but the truth is that most of us can't live exactly like we would if we were really dying. The whole point of that, after all, is to take risks and do what we really want to do because there won't be any consequences: we'll be dead long before the repercussions hit. But when you aren't dying there are certain consequences. 

For example: if I were to be diagnosed with terminal cancer right now I would probably take out a huge loan and take a tour of Europe. I would see the cathedrals, dream in the castles, eat the regional cuisine, chat with the locals; I'd make it the trip of a lifetime. Oh, and I would never clean the toilet. But if I did that right now you know what would happen: I'd be stuck with a whopping big loan which would make the next couple decades pretty miserable, and I'd have disgusting toilets.

So maybe we can't follow that cliche old phrase to the letter, but we can "kinda" do it. We can apply it to the little, everyday things. Goals like "loving deeper" and "speaking sweeter" don't take much money to accomplish. They just take a lot of grace and willpower.

Have you ever watched the movie Last Holiday? If not, I highly recommend it. It's the story of a woman who believes she only has three weeks left to live, and goes to Europe to find life and love for the first time. It's hilarious and touching, and can bring home some very weighty concepts. (Like, "The secret to life is butter.")

So go out there right now, find out what your passion is, what your dreams are, who you are, and make it happen. Then tell me all about it!

Our Opus

101/365, originally uploaded by kharied.

Last night I watched what has quickly become one of my all-time favorite movies—Mr. Holland’s Opus. If you haven’t seen it then I highly recommend that you do!

It’s the story of a man named Glenn Holland who has big dreams of becoming a famous composer, inking his heart and soul onto sheets of music and conducting grand symphonies for the pleasure of thousands. He’s a young man with a wife and when they’re a little tight on finances he decides to try out a new “gig”: teaching. Educating some fertile young minds, summers off to write music, sounds good, right? When Mr. Holland finds himself surrounded by hordes of philistine high-schoolers who can’t keep time to save their lives, he realizes that this isn’t going to be a walk in the park.

Not to give too much away, something happens to Mr. Holland as the years go on: life. A son is born, they discover that he has a  serious “problem”, money must be earned and spent on a house, expensive schooling, etc., etc., etc. In the end, as you’ve probably guessed, Mr. Holland does not become a famous composer. Instead, he becomes something much greater.

Dream-Resolution-Goal

New Year's Resolution: 36/365, originally uploaded by SashaW.

• Dream: ambition--a cherished desire
• Resolution: a decision to do something or to behave in a certain manner
• Goal: a projected state of affairs that a person or a system plans or intends to achieve

It all begins with a dream. I want to go to England. I want to study biology. I want to get married. I want to garden more. These cherished desires float around in our minds, go from frequent thoughts to irresistible daydreams, and stay with us for years. 

But dreams don't come true just because Disney says so.

Dreams come true because they solidify into resolutions, and we make the conscious decision to turn that unconscious thought into action. This is the stuff of the New Year. For the first week or two we complain less, eat healthier, spend more time with family, clean up the house, and keep things in perspective out of sheer willpower.

Then Life Happens.

And all of a sudden you look around and realize that your life is exactly the same as it’s been for the past five years and your resolutions lie in heaps of rubble ‘round your ears. Why? In short: resolutions simply don’t cut it. They are pie in the sky, just a little more practical than daydreams.